Connected

I was proud of myself.  On my first day in Vegas, I acquired an internet subscription and a local SIM card.  I was connected.

Within minutes of installing the phone, I heard the first beep.  A person who I didn't know, sent a text message which I didn't understand.  An hour or so later, another message.  I felt sorry for the sender, and replied
"U have the wrong #"
Yet the messages kept coming.  At first I was surprised.
'How can he (it felt like a 'he') not notice that the other side is not getting his messages?'
Then I became perversely curious.  He seemed like a high-school educated young man.  He recently experienced a divorce or a separation, and was eager to share his thoughts.  His mood alternated between happiness:
"I am so glad to be single"
and anger:
"I hate Gayle"
At times, the messages seemed part of a conversation:
"Let's watch the game tonight"
 At other times they were general words of wisdom:
"Some women are only interested in f###ing u, then they leave."

They were never sexually explicit, nor offensive.  However after several days of hourly beeps, I initiated a chat session with Dorothy, the phone-company support agent.
"Sorry to hear of your problem," she typed "Try to reply with the word STOP"
I was incredulous.  'I tried that twice before and it didn't work', but I followed her instructions and immediately heard the familiar beep.
"You are now unsubscribed from Twitter"
'Duh'.
My bubble burst.  I saw myself holding a fountain pen in the age of ballpoints. (Or was it a quilt?)

A Nomad's Seder

Without a pillar of fire to guide me through the Nevada desert, it took four (not forty) attempts to find a supermarket that carried matza.  Emboldened by the success, I decided to organize a Seder (Passover celebration).

With some flexibility, I assembled the traditional menu from items available on the store's shelves. Horseradish for Maror,  hummus for Haroset, eggs for Carpas, Gefilte fish, and matza balls (powdered mix).  For the four cups, I poured a Pinot Noir instead of Manichevitz.  The evening's order was slightly scrambled by eating before the readings, but no one complained.  Lacking the Haggada text, we watched Charleston Heston in the Ten Commandments.  The movie was long enough (three hours and fifty minutes), to last through both the first and the second holiday evenings.  I would consider this Seder a great success.

Chag Sameach

Warning:  Compared the traditional, mild mannered maror, raw horseradish gives a surprisingly strong kick.