El Curador

Imagine this scene: A warm sunny beach. On the beach, a palapa. Under the shade, two men. One, sitting on a white picnic chair, his leg propped on a bench. The other, a younger man, wearing a bathing suit, is hovering over the seated man, chanting.

Can you tell what is going on? Even Carlos CastaƱeda would not guess this to be an Indian healing ritual, yet that was precisely what I was going through.

Earlier that morning, as I jogged along the coast of La Manzanilla, two fishermen struggled to push their boat into the water. They gladly accepted my help, and with our combined effort, the boat budged. Somehow, in that spurt of heavy pushing I twisted my left foot. I ignored the pain until the boat was in the waves, but when I tried to resume the run, I yelped in pain and stopped. I could not put any weight on the front of my foot. As I limped in agony back to the campground, a debate ensued between Realist I, and Optimist I.

'This burning pain inside is familiar,' said Realist I, 'it was the same when you broke the right foot.'

'You only twisted the foot,' Optimist I reminded soothingly, 'it may be just a sprain.'

'Really?' scoffed Realist I, 'how about your son Ofer who broke a couple of bones in his foot by "only" twisting it?'

'Well,' smiled Optimist I, 'at least you can't feel bad about your bones becoming brittle with age.'

'It really doesn't matter,' Realist I concluded, 'in both cases the treatment is the same: Elevation, Ice, and Rest.' Realist I always has the last word.

Diagnosis and method of treatment concluded, Realist began thinking about the hassles of travel with a broken foot.

'It's not that bad,' Optimist interrupted, 'Ofer ran twenty miles on his broken foot.'

'That's not very comforting,' frowned Realist 'I don't like pain.'

I was in a dark mood when I returned to the sleeping campground. I found a crooked branch and used it to aid my mobility. One by one, the other campers emerged from their RVs and offered their help, advice, or sympathy. Among the last to wake was Rodolfo.

Rodolfo and Elena, a pretty blond from Columbia, occupied the tent next to ours. He was in his forties, handsome and in good shape. The sprinkle of grey in his black hair made him appear distinguished even in a bathing suit. He was gentle and spoke softly. I liked him. He was also an apprentice Curador, or Shaman. The other day, as we leisurely passed the time under the shady palapa, he briefly talked about his life. His mother introduced him into the Peyote culture. With her, he attended the religious ceremonies conducted by shamans, and usually held in the remote mountain villages of Mexico. Peyote, a hallucinogenic plant which is legally available to the shamans is administered in the ceremony. Under the influence of Peyote, participants in the ceremony gain access to the spirit world, and can have meaningful spiritual visions. The experience provided Rodolfo with increased self-understanding and peace. He began accompanying the village Shamans on their journeys. Eventually, after consulting with the spirits, his mentor concluded that Rodolfo is ready to heal others, and he started to practice. He admits there is still much he needs to learn. For example, he is not yet ready to administer Peyote. I expressed my interest, and he agreed that upon my return to Mexico, I could join him in a Peyote ritual.

Rodolfo approached and inquired into my situation. I provided my sad tale and self-diagnosis.

"I can't fix bones," he said, "but maybe I can do something good."

"Thanks, but later, when I am done here." I said, pointing at the vegetables I was peeling for the morning salad. I was not ready for a spiritual process, especially one administered by a camping friend.

After breakfast and with the pain not subsiding, I concluded that I have nothing to loose. I walked up to his hammock and stirred him from a morning nap. We settled in the shade, me on the plastic chair. He bent over my leg and held my foot with both hands.

I suppressed a scream of pain.

"Breathe, relax," he said as he pressed my swollen foot.

I tried to follow his instruction by using my meditation training.

His strong fingers explored the pressure points along my leg. He explained something about Energy Meridians. The terms sounded familiar. As he kept working, my body slowly learned to trust his hands. The sensation was strong, sometimes painful, but always benign. I became calmer, my breathing slowed, and despite the pain in some of the pressure points, I could follow his fingers tracing the energy paths in my leg.

"The left side is your emotional, spiritual side." he explained, "Something has weakened it, and I would like to find that cause."

His hands kept going over my body. "It was not the spirits of Mexico that caused this injury." he said quietly, "You accepted our country, and it has accepted you."

I liked that conclusion.

"I am trying to feel around us." he said, his eyes scanning our surroundings, his hands not loosing touch with my leg, "I do not sense any ill will. I don't think it is someone in this campground"

At times, he would close his eyes in concentration as if waiting for an answer. "It could be someone far away," he speculated, "you will have to find the person that is angry with you and ask for forgiveness." He then proceeded to massage my neck and shoulders.

After a while, Rodolfo stopped the acupressure and sat next to my foot. His demeanor became solemn. He stopped talking, and his eyes, dark and deep, focused on some far horizon. He placed his hand on my foot and started chanting. He seemed immersed in a universe composed only of him and the space around my ailing foot. His chant was melodious and soothing. As he chanted, his voice became deeper and it drew me into a similar focus. I no longer felt awkward. The bustling campground faded, the uncomfortable chair disappeared, and it was just him and I, suspended in a bubble of time. He placed both hands over my leg without touching it, and I could feel the connection. The chanting became a wordless humming. He passed his hands above my leg with long slow strokes that started at the knee and ended at the tips of my toes. As he completed each stroke, he gathered something invisible into his hands, then brought them towards his mouth, extended his fingers, and audibly blew air over his palms.

"We Curadores are like sponges," he explained, "We take in the bad energy, but then we have to get rid of it. Some spit it out, I blow it out."

The chanting and cleansing continued for a while, then the ritual ended, and I slowly came back to the palapa. Rodolfo and I hugged, and I got up. I still could not step on my foot, but my overall feeling was radically different. A dark night, a masked Shaman shrouded in smoke, the sound of rattles and drums would have been interesting to witness, but were not essential for the special experience I just completed. I felt well. Sprained or broken, did not matter. I knew I will manage. We exchanged emails, hugged again, and promised to meet each other in the fall.


Epilogue

A couple of days later, I was well enough to drive to Puerto Vallarta where I bought a pair of crutches and discarded the old branch. I saw the broken bone in the X-Ray film, so I also purchased an orthopedic boot. On crutches, I manage fine, yet I do not understand how Ofer ran twenty miles on a broken foot.








Custodio

On reaching maturity, sea turtles return to the same Michoacan beach where they hatched.

"Hey man," a cheerful voice startled me, "why don't you sit down?" The English was fluent, with only a trace of accent.

A young man, shaved head, emerged from the shady enramada, menu in hand.

It was early morning in Playa Azul. The sun just rose over the Ocean, and I was getting ready to jog. I was not in a mood for cheery voices, yet I was intrigued. "Where did you learn your English?" I asked.

"I lived in Washington State for twenty three years," the young man answered smiling,

"What brought you here?"

Lowering his voice he answered, "A bit of trouble man, you know"

More awake now, I noticed the tattoos that extended up along his forearms and under the sleeves of his neatly pressed shirt. "You did time." I asked, acting cool.

He lowered his eyes and nodded "Yeah."

"I'll see you later," I said and started jogging along the water line. I ran slowly, enjoying the cool air, the fresh sea smell, and the sound of the breaking waves. I felt sorry for the young man trying to earn a living on a beach totally devoid of tourists. On the way back, he was waiting for me in front of the empty enramada.

"Hey man, how about it?" he pleaded.

I chose one of the tables arranged on the soft white sand, and ordered breakfast. He brought the orange juice, and I asked for his name.

"Custodio"

I asked him to sit. He told me that his age was twenty-five, and he has been living here for the last two years. I remarked that my arithmetic placed his birthplace in Washington State.

"No man," he protested, "I was born right here". "I was a little baby when my mama took me to the states."

I asked about the father.

"He died when I was just a …, you know, just a…" he struggled, "…before I was born."

I wanted to know more. At first, I had to probe to get the details, but as his story emerged, his descriptions became more expansive.

"My dad was a fisherman. They say he brought in drugs. Who knows, man? Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Anyway… they shot him." He concluded and left to get my coffee.

He brought a cup of instant coffee, nothing else. I asked for milk; he hit his forehead, apologized, and went back to the kitchen to get it. The coffee was lukewarm.

"I grew up a good boy. Then I started getting into trouble. You know, girls. Girls, and then smoking and stuff. …First smoking, later crack, crystal, and stuff, you know. Then I started dealing. No, I didn't drop out of his school. I am not stupid. I got good grades. I figured if I get good grades at school, than I won't get in trouble with my mom, and I could do whatever, after school. I could get away with it, you see."

A shout from the kitchen indicated that my eggs were ready, and he brought the plate to my table. Another smack on the forehead, and he went back to the kitchen to get the fork and salsa.

"Thanks man," he returned smiling, "for teaching me what costumers need"

I never saw a customer in this enramada, and I could not help but assume that I might have been the first one in the two months that Custodio has been working here. He sat down, and we returned to his past.

At the age of fourteen, he was sentenced to eight years. I was incredulous. Eight years are a long time for dealing drugs.

"Well, it wasn't drugs," he answered with the same apologetic smile, "I shot somebody."

"I was in this house, you know. There were a bunch of us kids living there. One day, I discovered that all the money was gone out of my pocket. I knew it must have been this girl. She was laughing right in my face. It must have been her."

"There was this automatic gun on a shelf. I was high on drugs. I wasn't thinking straight. I don't know what I was thinking. I went crazy, man." Custodio picked up an imaginary gun and pointed it, "I took the gun, she kept laughing, I pressed the trigger. The gun went trrrrrr." He fell silent, still pressing the imaginary trigger. For a few moments, I was silent too.

Sometimes, things are not as bad as they seem. The girl survived. Custodio completed his education in jail. During this period, he was transferred a few times into the adult jails. "They couldn't handle me in Juvenile." He used the prison library to learn the law, and managed to avoid deportation.

He got up to return with more tortillas, and I utilized the interruption to ask a rhetorical question.

"Custodio," I asked, speaking as clearly as I could, "Why is it that in the States, young Mexicans are considered bad, violent, gang members, while here in Mexico, all the people I meet are kind, friendly, and gentle?"

Custodio stayed silent, thinking. Finally, he looked directly at me and said, "Racism, man. Racism."

We talked about his mother. Custodio's problems got his mother in trouble with the Immigration Service. Unlike him, she did not want to go through the hearing ordeal. She moved to another city, and dropped out of the system. Custodio does not have much contact with her.

"I am a grown up now," he says inflating his chest, "I can't just come to her door and say: Mom take me in. Can I?"

For a while, things went well. He even got married. However, the lure of easy money was too great. He started dealing again.

"If I did less than 100 grand a month, it would be a bad month." "My wife didn't know, man. She thought I inherited the money or something." "Later in court she called me a dirty Spic"

The police got him while he was making a delivery.

Custodio described the incident, his pitch noticeably higher. "They surrounded me, man. I ran, I threw the stuff away, but they got it anyway."

This time, he could not avoid deportation. His wife moved in with another man. Custodio came back to Playa Azul. He lives here with his cousins.

"Now I am staying clean, man."

I looked at him skeptically; I had a different impression.

"Well I smoke some. How did you know, man? After the shower in the morning, I smoke a joint. I have to. I have some here. I can roll you one."

I declined the offer.

"I really don't know why I am here," said Custodio looking around him, "I don't make any money. I guess I need the calm. "

Holding his head, he continued, "There is this bad side of me, you know, and there is this other side, and I am trying to put them together. It's hard. Sometimes, all of a sudden, I need to clear my head and I start running along the beach. People think I am crazy. I just need to clear my head, you know."

Eventually, I paid and left. I wished Custodio well. I hope that one day he will put himself together and accomplish his goal of becoming an accountant.