Can Irrationality Improve your Marriage

"A beginner's Guide to Irrational Behavior" is taught on Coursera by Dan Arieli.  Prof. Arieli asked us to submit a paper on how we would use the research findings, to solve a real-world problem.  After failing to think of a good way to eliminate world hunger, I almost gave up on the assignment.  Then, I had the brainstorm you are invited to witness.  To my surprise, the fictional dish, really exists.
  

Can Irrationality Improve Your Marriage?

This paper describes the attempt to alter marital behavior using several  effects discovered in Behavioral Economics research. 

INTRODUCTION

My wife is a good cook.  My favorite of her dishes is Chicken A-La-Mode (CALM), a boiled chicken breast, topped with strawberry ice-cream.  If I could, I would eat CALM every day.  The problem is that she prepares it less than once per month.  If I don’t have it, I slowly lose my usually cheerful disposition.  We often talk about my desire for more CALM.  In those discussions, she says she loves me, and would be happy to prepare my favorite dish every day.  According to her, there are several reasons for not cooking the dish more often.  The price of chicken breast (she buys it at the market, a day prior to preparation) recently spiked up; she sometimes forgets to buy the meat; and at other time, she is not in the mood for fancy cooking.  For a few days after one of these discussions, I get my chicken a la mode, but after a while, the frequency deteriorates to the usual low level.  

Rationally, increasing the occurrence of CALM in our life would greatly benefit my wife.  Chicken is cheap, she would enjoy the tasty dish, and she will avoid the company of a grumpy man.  I recalled the research presented in the Beginners Guide to Irrational Behavior class, and thought that it may be worthwhile to experiment with some of the concepts I learned.  Fortunately, my wife did not take the same class.

To reduce my wife's pain of purchase, I used the research that shows that paying is made less painful if the payment is less transparent, and choices are provided by default.  Furthermore, a high "anchor" may make something seem cheap, and "Free" is a powerful concept.  To set her expectations for the frequency of CALM, I utilized the anchor concept again, as well as setting the layout of choices to allow my desired outcome to seem reasonable.  To increase my wife's motivation, I used the endowment research, by providing her with an incentive that she may loose by non-performance.  I used the research on the fading effect of the honor code, through a reminder, just before she begins her day.

Below is a description of my experiment.  The references to the research I used are embedded in the description in parenthesis.

METHOD

A.  Reduce the pain of spending.

I visited our favorite butcher and struck the following deal with him.

1. Each time my wife comes in, he will wrap two slices of chicken breast and hand it to her(1), saying “Here is your order.  Anything else?”  I gave him a $100 as prepayment for chicken breast purchases.  For any other meat, my wife will have to pay cash.  I will refill this fund whenever it runs out.
2. Each time my wife comes in he should tell her about the price of T-bone steak (which is expensive and she doesn't like too much) (2).  (I gave him $20, and told him that he can pay himself $1.00 for each time he does so.  At the end of each month I will refill this fund too.)

I told my wife, that I prepaid for the chicken breasts and that from now on, they are “Free”. (3)

B.  Pre-bias the expectations.

I prepared a form which contained two multiple choice questions.  I would hand it to my wife at the appropriate time.  The questions are listed below.

    “Would you be willing to prepare CALM 30 times per month?” (2)

               YES    NO

    “How many times a month should we eat CALM?”  (4)  

            Less than 5    5-10    10-20    20-30    30-40    More than 40

C.  Increase the joy of cooking.

After my wife filled the questionnaire, I was not surprised to see that she chose “10-20” as the correct frequency.

Now, I needed to be careful.  I had to avoid moving our relationship into a market norm (5).  I continued with the following suggestion.

“Honey, how about, if I give you one Toblerone for every time you prepare CALM?  In fact, here are twenty bars for this month.  I will put these in a jar, and you can take one after every CALM meal.  At the end of the month I will replenish the jar to twenty bars.” (6)  I should add that my wife is very slim, and this is her favorite snack.  

Laughingly, she accepted this arrangement.

D.  Reinforce the honor code.

Every day before going to work, I kiss my wife goodbye, and casually mention something along these lines,

“Honey, I really loved the last CALM.  Did you take your Toblerone?” (7)

RESULTS

Dan Arieli changed my life.  I am now eating CALM at least twice a week.

NIght and Day

Hoof steps disturb the silence. The rider, an early riser heading for the market, tips his hat, and we respond with "Buenos Dias".  The horse leaves the only blemish on the shiny cobble stones.  We are soon out of town.  In the orchards besides our path, men and women are harvesting red coffee berries.  We taste some.  The mountain air is cool and fresh, and we enjoy the exertion.  We are headed for a waterfall that played a prominent role in the movie Romancing the Stone.  We cross a rickety suspended bridge that hangs hundreds of feet above the canyon.  The movie bridge is still there, too dangerous for use.  We descend a steep narrow trail carved into the face of the cliff and reach a view of the waterfall.  The fall are impressive, even without Michael and Kathleen.  Back in town, we stroll along the main street and admire the colorful ceramic tiles that decorate the colonial-style buildings.

The music that drifts into our room signals the start (an hour late) of the evening parade. We squeeze our way to the front, and watch the illuminated floats and the marching samba clubs.  From here, it's a short walk to Plazuela Campana, our favorite spot.  We learned to avoid the huge crowds at the seafront concert, and the equally-crowded Zocalo. A narrow alley leads into the plaza which is enclosed on all sides by three-story buildings.  At night, you can't see their dilapidated exterior.  Plastic tables are arranged on the periphery of the plaza. In the front, the band is preparing to play.  We join another couple at one of the tables.  By the end of the evening, they become our friends.  We order a beer, and as the music starts, we step to the center.  For the rest of the night the bands change, and we keep on dancing to the Cuban rhythms.

Sounds ideal?  In reality, these are two separate places.  In pretty Xico (HEE-CO), there is absolutely nothing to do after dark.  Veracruz during the day, is humid and grimy, busily cleaning the debris of last night's debauchery.  We came to Veracruz to dance in the Carnaval, and we continued to Xico, to decompress.  The port city and the "Magical town" are very different, yet both served our purpose well.

To be fair, Xico has its day of excitement during the town fiesta, when dozens of bulls, are released into the streets, and chase the crowd a-la Pamplona.  Veracruz has its daytime attractions.  If you order Cafe Lechero in the Gran Cafe de la Parroquia, a waiter pours boiling milk into your coffee, from a height well above your head, without spilling a drop.

What Is Moral?

On the second week of "Practical Ethics", a class taught by Peter Singer on Coursera, we were asked for our personal view on Morality.  Below is my submission, which I labeled "Squeamish Consequentialist".  I would appreciate your comments. 

I do not believe in a supreme being, nor in any other superhuman moral truth.  However that does not mean that morality is a matter of personal opinion.  I think that morality is ingrained in all human animals, and that most of us share basic moral instincts.  These moral instincts are useful for the welfare of human society, and contribute to the survival and procreation of individuals within the society.  It is therefore possible to asses the moral correctness of an intuition, according to the consequences that follow from acting on it.  If the act contributes to the welfare of society, it is good, and therefore morally right.  Since these intuitions evolved over millions of years, not all intuitions will serve society's interests, and we should try to use reason to validate their moral utility.

Although the paragraph above would seem to make me a consequentialist (1),  I am not always willing to accept the practical implications of this philosophical approach.  Too often, these implications will conflict with my moral intuitions.  These contradictions are mostly associated with two issues.

1. The value I place on the welfare of others diminishes, as their biological distance from me increases.
2. I will hesitate (not necessarily refrain), from causing harm to others through direct action, even if it is for the greater good.

I highly doubt that any philosophical theory can eliminate all moral contradictions.

In the absence of God and a comprehensive moral theory, I feel justified, capable, and most of the time comfortable, in making my own moral decisions.

Notes:
1.  Consequentialism: An action is morally right if the consequences of that action are more favorable than unfavorable.