Can Irrationality Improve your Marriage

"A beginner's Guide to Irrational Behavior" is taught on Coursera by Dan Arieli.  Prof. Arieli asked us to submit a paper on how we would use the research findings, to solve a real-world problem.  After failing to think of a good way to eliminate world hunger, I almost gave up on the assignment.  Then, I had the brainstorm you are invited to witness.  To my surprise, the fictional dish, really exists.
  

Can Irrationality Improve Your Marriage?

This paper describes the attempt to alter marital behavior using several  effects discovered in Behavioral Economics research. 

INTRODUCTION

My wife is a good cook.  My favorite of her dishes is Chicken A-La-Mode (CALM), a boiled chicken breast, topped with strawberry ice-cream.  If I could, I would eat CALM every day.  The problem is that she prepares it less than once per month.  If I don’t have it, I slowly lose my usually cheerful disposition.  We often talk about my desire for more CALM.  In those discussions, she says she loves me, and would be happy to prepare my favorite dish every day.  According to her, there are several reasons for not cooking the dish more often.  The price of chicken breast (she buys it at the market, a day prior to preparation) recently spiked up; she sometimes forgets to buy the meat; and at other time, she is not in the mood for fancy cooking.  For a few days after one of these discussions, I get my chicken a la mode, but after a while, the frequency deteriorates to the usual low level.  

Rationally, increasing the occurrence of CALM in our life would greatly benefit my wife.  Chicken is cheap, she would enjoy the tasty dish, and she will avoid the company of a grumpy man.  I recalled the research presented in the Beginners Guide to Irrational Behavior class, and thought that it may be worthwhile to experiment with some of the concepts I learned.  Fortunately, my wife did not take the same class.

To reduce my wife's pain of purchase, I used the research that shows that paying is made less painful if the payment is less transparent, and choices are provided by default.  Furthermore, a high "anchor" may make something seem cheap, and "Free" is a powerful concept.  To set her expectations for the frequency of CALM, I utilized the anchor concept again, as well as setting the layout of choices to allow my desired outcome to seem reasonable.  To increase my wife's motivation, I used the endowment research, by providing her with an incentive that she may loose by non-performance.  I used the research on the fading effect of the honor code, through a reminder, just before she begins her day.

Below is a description of my experiment.  The references to the research I used are embedded in the description in parenthesis.

METHOD

A.  Reduce the pain of spending.

I visited our favorite butcher and struck the following deal with him.

1. Each time my wife comes in, he will wrap two slices of chicken breast and hand it to her(1), saying “Here is your order.  Anything else?”  I gave him a $100 as prepayment for chicken breast purchases.  For any other meat, my wife will have to pay cash.  I will refill this fund whenever it runs out.
2. Each time my wife comes in he should tell her about the price of T-bone steak (which is expensive and she doesn't like too much) (2).  (I gave him $20, and told him that he can pay himself $1.00 for each time he does so.  At the end of each month I will refill this fund too.)

I told my wife, that I prepaid for the chicken breasts and that from now on, they are “Free”. (3)

B.  Pre-bias the expectations.

I prepared a form which contained two multiple choice questions.  I would hand it to my wife at the appropriate time.  The questions are listed below.

    “Would you be willing to prepare CALM 30 times per month?” (2)

               YES    NO

    “How many times a month should we eat CALM?”  (4)  

            Less than 5    5-10    10-20    20-30    30-40    More than 40

C.  Increase the joy of cooking.

After my wife filled the questionnaire, I was not surprised to see that she chose “10-20” as the correct frequency.

Now, I needed to be careful.  I had to avoid moving our relationship into a market norm (5).  I continued with the following suggestion.

“Honey, how about, if I give you one Toblerone for every time you prepare CALM?  In fact, here are twenty bars for this month.  I will put these in a jar, and you can take one after every CALM meal.  At the end of the month I will replenish the jar to twenty bars.” (6)  I should add that my wife is very slim, and this is her favorite snack.  

Laughingly, she accepted this arrangement.

D.  Reinforce the honor code.

Every day before going to work, I kiss my wife goodbye, and casually mention something along these lines,

“Honey, I really loved the last CALM.  Did you take your Toblerone?” (7)

RESULTS

Dan Arieli changed my life.  I am now eating CALM at least twice a week.